Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
I realise that I spend more time thinking about the past than the future—not because I’m stuck there, but because I’m trying to understand myself.
The past holds unanswered questions, emotions that were never fully expressed, and experiences that shaped who I am today. I revisit it to find meaning, to heal, and to make sense of why certain things affected me so deeply. For me, reflection is not weakness; it’s a way of processing life.
The future often feels uncertain, and uncertainty demands a kind of confidence and safety that I am still learning to build. So my mind returns to what it already knows. Once I feel emotionally settled, my thoughts slowly shift from what happened to what I want next.
I know this phase is not permanent. Understanding my past is simply preparing me to create a future that feels calmer, more intentional, and truly mine.
My memories are not just events—they are emotions, pauses, silences, and moments where I had to become stronger than I was ready to be. I revisit them to understand why I reacted the way I did, why certain experiences left a deeper mark, and how they shaped the person I am today. Looking back helps me connect the dots between who I was, who I became, and who I am still becoming.
The future, in contrast, feels open yet uncertain. It asks for clarity, confidence, and trust—things that are built slowly, especially when life has taught you to be cautious. I don’t avoid the future; I approach it gently. I know that imagining it requires emotional safety, and I am still learning how to create that space within myself.
Thinking about the past is also my way of healing. There were moments when I didn’t get closure, when emotions were swallowed instead of expressed, and when strength was expected but support was missing. Reflection allows me to give myself the understanding I didn’t always receive from others.
Yet, this doesn’t mean I am stuck. I can feel the shift happening. Slowly, my questions are changing—from “Why did this happen to me?” to “What kind of life do I want to build now?” The more peace I make with my past, the more room I create for intention, calm, and direction.
I believe this phase is necessary. Before moving forward with clarity, I need to move inward with honesty. And when I do step fully into the future, it won’t be from fear or confusion—it will be from awareness, strength, and self-respect.
This is not dwelling.
This is understanding.
And understanding, for me, is the beginning of growth. 🌱
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